Should I go or not? If yes, then there should be no one. Let it be, I have to do this, I have to go, after all, every person needs to do it.
ME- Dad, Can I go for dinner?
Dad- with whom?
Me- alone
Dad – wait, what? Why alone, like you can have at least one friend with you
Me- NO, because it is easier to have what you want without asking for anyone’s permission.
Dad – Okay fine! just come before the deadline.
{it was really easy to convince him though, in India, the idea of going alone is not acceptable for society. Our society never teaches us, how to be alone, how to be prepared in case we fail. Everyone teaches us to be a winner, a lover, and an ideal family person. But togetherness is a temporary thing and we have to sustain alone and that is the truth that I have accepted in my life after my breakup.
Getting cheated on is not just about a relationship failure, it’s more about an individual’s failure, where you start doubting yourself. I still remember that how I questioned myself that it is me who is not good enough, maybe good face but not the body, it’s me who wasn’t expressive and all, etc shit.
After two years of me finally, I am initiating a new journey, a mission of self-love. The love that I always looked for and now I’m gonna give it to myself. The first step of this journey is my first me date so let’s go}
Here the date starts:
Reached the decided place, after all, it was a famous restaurant and I genuinely thought that I can get a proper dinner. As soon as I parked my scooter, I saw sweet couples hugging each other. So much love, however, who cares.
As soon as I opened the door, the restaurant had few empty seats, as mainly places were occupied by families.
So I decided to go upstairs but there was a problem, the manager was following my every step
It was really awkward. At each table there were four seats which annoyed me and all I just shouted on the manager’s face, I can’t be here, you don’t have a single seat.
Conclusion– I failed****
The only motivation to continue the date was my hunger. Hence, I decided to go nearby cafe. Instantly I reached and immediately I ordered one oreo shake and some garlic bread, undoubtedly the person was surprised as the cafe was famous for tea. The cafe was really beautiful, near the highway, gorgeous moonlight some peace and comfortable pouf sitting for two people. I m sure now you guys already aware of my luck, the poufs were booked and I have to sit in front of the main door. Even after, the moonlight was enough to convince me. In between, I decided to call my best friend to show my new look, the black eyes with bun and a cool shrug with a short dress. Following the call, I was more confident than before and the oreo shake was great but the garlic pieces of bread were pretty rotten. Therefore, I left the place without eating.
Result: Nothing great happened but a nice try
So now what? home, I was still hungry, and all I had last 20 minutes of my deadline. So I decided to take the risk, and go to a crowded place that was not on my list and eat good food, the last chance.
During the ride, the highway was dark and, that darkness was magnificent. The moon was brighter, all the cars and trucks were almost rushing and, I was the only one who was chilling. That air and freedom, I wish I can describe, I was enjoying and then reached the destination. For the foremost time, my fear for people was less than my excitement for the food that I ordered. For the first time, I was happy to see so many people around me and, when I got my favorite Indian quizzene food, I was amazed by the flavors and eaten my food like no one is seeing. That carelessness, no hesitation, and confidence are what I had achieved.
After reaching home all I was smiling and thanking God for this date. Which not only helped me to overcome my loneliness and also made me a new fearless girl.
This blog I dedicate to all those strong men and women who are courageous to be alone and building their personal spaces in world of dependency. I hope my experience can help you to try a new form of love and I am sure in the end it will be a wonderful trip like mine.
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