Revisiting the Lockdown

What will be the motivation this time? The better tomorrow or survived yesterday.

All my pages of diary still remembered that time when Covid was introduced to us like havoc. All were unaware but scared, the only medicine was to stay home and that medicine was universally accepted as a form of lockdown.

At first, it was a fear that made us survive the very start of lockdown, and then it all changed into severe reality issues of the real world, we call them Depression, anxiety, and loneliness.

Apart from mental health issues, the happiest thing was the promotion in exams, introduction of new habits, and surely the introduction of myself in a new way.

So, overall Lockdown was survived but I never wanted it as my tomorrow and yes it is my tomorrow.

From tomorrow onwards in India, there will be a lockdown. I can see all the mental health issues coming towards me again, and this time they are more drastic with question marks of life and career.

The same education promotion is not beneficial this time, the social routine is not the same, all the goals have now vanished and, the fear remains constant,

This time Covid striking again with a high number of fatality rates brings the whole nation in the front of a biomedical emergency.

And, do you guys know, this time it is 100 times more drastic as we have so-called vaccines and all serosurveys but not the ultimate cure.

So, Covid is an end of the world?

I think no instead its a beginning, like how in spiritual teachings it been taught that life and death are independent of time gestures, there will be no tomorrow, no yesterday the only day is present day.

Covid is our presence which destroyed all the old methods of teaching, religious beliefs by shutting temples and brotherhood by letting all die in isolation.

Covid proves the fact that we come alone and die alone(isolation)

So let’s start once again alone, from the independence of the day before or the day after, let’s burn our schedules and take a long breathe to realize, be glad we are ALIVE


My first ME DATE experience.

Should I go or not? If yes, then there should be no one. Let it be, I have to do this, I have to go, after all, every person needs to do it.

ME- Dad, Can I go for dinner?

Dad- with whom?

Me- alone

Dad – wait, what? Why alone, like you can have at least one friend with you

Me- NO, because it is easier to have what you want without asking for anyone’s permission.

Dad – Okay fine! just come before the deadline.

{it was really easy to convince him though, in India, the idea of going alone is not acceptable for society. Our society never teaches us, how to be alone, how to be prepared in case we fail. Everyone teaches us to be a winner, a lover, and an ideal family person. But togetherness is a temporary thing and we have to sustain alone and that is the truth that I have accepted in my life after my breakup.

Getting cheated on is not just about a relationship failure, it’s more about an individual’s failure, where you start doubting yourself. I still remember that how I questioned myself that it is me who is not good enough, maybe good face but not the body, it’s me who wasn’t expressive and all, etc shit.

  After two years of me finally, I am initiating a new journey, a mission of self-love. The love that I always looked for and now I’m gonna give it to myself. The first step of this journey is my first me date so let’s go}

Here the date starts:

Reached the decided place, after all, it was a famous restaurant and I genuinely thought that I can get a proper dinner. As soon as I parked my scooter, I saw sweet couples hugging each other. So much love, however, who cares. 

As soon as I opened the door, the restaurant had few empty seats, as mainly places were occupied by families.

 So I decided to go upstairs but there was a problem, the manager was following my every step

It was really awkward. At each table there were four seats which annoyed me and all I just shouted on the manager’s face, I can’t be here, you don’t have a single seat.

Conclusion– I failed****

The only motivation to continue the date was my hunger. Hence, I decided to go nearby cafe. Instantly I reached and immediately I ordered one oreo shake and some garlic bread, undoubtedly the person was surprised as the cafe was famous for tea. The cafe was really beautiful, near the highway, gorgeous moonlight some peace and comfortable pouf sitting for two people. I m sure now you guys already aware of my luck, the poufs were booked and I have to sit in front of the main door. Even after, the moonlight was enough to convince me. In between, I decided to call my best friend to show my new look, the black eyes with bun and a cool shrug with a short dress. Following the call, I was more confident than before and the oreo shake was great but the garlic pieces of bread were pretty rotten. Therefore, I left the place without eating.

Result: Nothing great happened but a nice try

So now what? home, I was still hungry, and all I had last 20 minutes of my deadline. So I decided to take the risk, and go to a crowded place that was not on my list and eat good food, the last chance.

During the ride, the highway was dark and, that darkness was magnificent. The moon was brighter, all the cars and trucks were almost rushing and, I was the only one who was chilling. That air and freedom, I wish I can describe, I was enjoying and then reached the destination. For the foremost time, my fear for people was less than my excitement for the food that I ordered. For the first time, I was happy to see so many people around me and, when I got my favorite Indian quizzene food, I was amazed by the flavors and eaten my food like no one is seeing. That carelessness, no hesitation, and confidence are what I had achieved. 

After reaching home all I was smiling and thanking God for this date. Which not only helped me to overcome my loneliness and also made me a new fearless girl.

This blog I dedicate to all those strong men and women who are courageous to be alone and building their personal spaces in world of dependency. I hope my experience can help you to try a new form of love and I am sure in the end it will be a wonderful trip like mine.


The Native app or Hybrid app? Let’s discuss.

So, are you building an app? If yes, then congratulations because you are in the right place. With the persistently increasing market of mobile apps, the limelight of business is building an app.
From large corporate houses to budding entrepreneurs, the focus is on tech-enabled marketing and manufacturing.

The second thought after an idea is a platform? Should it be a hybrid app or native app

Discussing individually both apps serve an enormous market.
The Native app Twitter interface provides trending controversial at the same time the hybrid app Facebook itself a marketplace.
Then what to choose? So here the debate starts;

What is your budget?– If you have plans for a decade-long company with high investments, kindly choose the native app. The native apps are organized and more interactive with mobile UI as compared to Hybrid.
Reason: Hybrid apps have a face like native apps and body based on web apps. Their work mainly depends on the internet and the installation of apps that makes them complex to use. Due to the webview system, they are less interactive with mobile UI.

And, if you are a newcomer, excited for your journey with enthusiasm and low budget, then say a big Yes for hybrid apps, as they serve one code base system.

We have two types of mobile base in the market. The first used by 88% population is Android mobiles and, the second serve with greater security and a highly improvised environment, the IOS operating system. For native apps, they have separate codes for each type as for Android the Java code based system and for IOS the C based system.

The native apps are involved with the user but do not communicate well with other platforms. As a result, need to prepare distinct codes.

On the other hand, Hybrid apps are coded with Javascript, HTML, and CSS serves as a unified code base system accessible on multiple platforms.

That mean Hybrid won the debate?
maybe yes or maybe no,

Performance:- Do you want an app or a Superman? That follows your command in seconds and responds to your every touch quickly.
The Superman name is Native app, they best works with APIs, effectively with OS, and directly serve great with or without data.
Hence, in the case of performance, the native apps have extra points.
So, the discussion is over? no

Time and money– The minimum viable product, Hybrid saves time, money, and also hard work. The native app costs both and efficiently providess a user-friendly and long-run program.

Hence, calculating all pros and cons, I can suggest one thing, go with your goals, check your main points, and choose.

So Still Planning for Tomorrow?

Let me introduce you with me as a person of 2019- 

The strong determined woman with a plan for the next 100 years or the next day or who was prepared for the very next moment. The ambitious and pretty scared of failures yet definitely an organized woman.

Then 2020 struck like lightning and introduced with Covid19. Yes, it was the first unplanned event of my life that continued till one year but as I was trying to be prepared for the next year, all I survived with optimism that 2021 will bring a great change.

And guess, it brought a terrible change. We all get change from planning tomorrow to saving lives for today.

So, as per my outlook yes, it gave me one of the worst experiences of failure of planes, death trolls, and lockdowns but when it comes to introspection.

Covid made me sit and realize, if not these plans then what remains, if not tomorrow comes then how will you survive this moment?

We all planned our future in 2019 that one day we will write about our life experiences, art will be made to describe the misery of the world or the sacrifices we have made in the painting, and inside singer will sing a song for itself to recognize that he is alive.

That one day of future came in Covid times, it allowed singers to sing and smile, an art of faith that we will survive and for me, an opportunity to write an outlook, an outlook consist of both, the frustration with blessing.

Isn’t that beautiful?  that we are facing inner freedom from future tensions in locked doors. We are mourning thousands of daily deaths with thanks to God for our every single breath.

Yes, it is a moment that combines all forms of energy to survive and live the only day that is the present day.

So, not last but the least, let me introduce you to myself again as a woman from 2021 who don’t have plans anymore and neither the fear of failures, all I have some thoughtful books and ideas and few pages to writze not experience but hopes.

You must be thinking now If I’m still planning for tomorrow? 

 The answer is NO! I started living for today.

Migration 2020

We all remembered how Covid happened, after all, it’s more than a year now. For Indians, it was a great journey where everyone acknowledged the role of Doctors, Police and Military forces, Sanitation workers, and big applause to all Government employees who focused on saving the nation by risking their lives. Real Martyrs, right? but can we rewind and remember how crores of people were travelled through roads by covering miles, and lacks people died in the journey. There is no data of those people but the bloodstains remain on roads.

The second massive migration in Indian soil after India – Pakistan division in 1947.

In records given by Indian express, as of 2020, according to Prof S Irudaya Rajan (Centre for Development Studies, Kerala), India has an estimated 600 million migrants. If the rough estimation is 600 million can you imagine the actual numbers, all were blue-collar workers, those who were already living in extreme conditions with certain basic needs, and Covid lockdown no only exploited their basic income but their Freedom of Movement was also curbed.

So, who should be blamed?

The Indian Government, if yes then why? we can blame the government because the sudden lockdown imposition in the country with the second-largest population, really sounds irresponsible. Despite that, we can’t blame. Because it was a world crisis and, everyone was scared of the unknown virus. Big economies were playing blame games, the poor were already suffering and in those circumstances what the Indian Government did was justified. 

However, Lockdown was justified, not the migration!

Why no facilitation of transportation was available? Why no data was available on Inter-state migrants? Why they were living in extreme conditions, where they can’t safeguard themselves from Pandemic which forced them to migrate.

No one asked these questions, not even the victims. That’s why these remained unanswered and, the way the Indian government and Indian Citizens forgot the migration, I’m sure these questions will continue to exist unanswered.

Where I am going?

A reality check to myself around 11Pm, is this all I want to do, If yes then why I’m not focused?.

Focus and discipline, the two supreme qualities of life. Being a player and a cadet they both was my priorities but now it all changed into laziness, scrolling feeds and YouTube.

I tried many things, no Instagram(it worked), no YouTube and now I only feel it helped at certain level but not fully to enhance my capabilities.

This awareness haunts me being an adult whose graduation is about to complete, who is doing an internship in the interested field, want to pursue physics in career and studying it and aims to become an IAS officer. The same girl is distracted, lost in thoughts and now just admiring the both, the inner silences and a big shore.

Shore of aspirations, wants, fantasies, dreams of becoming centre of attraction and dancing in front of all and proving them yes I’m not the dumbass instead a lit person.

On the other side,I approach towards calmness, being intelligent and a lady loved by a great man.

Sometimes, I really wonder from where all these thing arise, if I look outside, everyone has something to judge, say and teach. Even if they are at the verge of collapsing still they pretend to be the best version and me, who is at present allowing myself to flow like a river, breath air like it’s my birth and looking at the sun as it rises for me. After all this the main part comes.

It is alright to be a child being 21 year old?

Age, degree, future, ambition an mainly toxic ego, are becoming my reasons to live and as being a society person, I really appreciate these motives.

The only issues is that they are not in action, the way is not clear. Why at the end all I desire for love, respect and money and where is the source?

No matter how strong theory part is , my weakness of diversions feels like a hurdle in my path, the known path.

2020 Thank you

2020 you made me realize the importance of mental health

I still remember the last pages of 2019 diary when all my wishlist were ready to shape in reality, the exam dates and all beautiful plans.

And, then suddenly 2020 march introduced me with lockdown. My working parents started working from home, all those schedules of them included me in their life. We started eating together, watching together and the best thing, fighting together.

The four walls became my new home where all my frustration and depression passed after March to September.

The time when I realised that it is not others who are responsible for my pain, it’s me the person who never acknowledged the presence of people and now only loneliness left.

The fear of death to mask suffocation, I learnt to survive and now I’m happy in realizing that yes , it was a great year a most beautiful one, awakened one

Thank you 2020 for showing me that my life is not about plans and schedules, its about living fearlessly.

Is Cloud applications are secured or hostile??

With 80,000 cyber-attacks per day on cloud applications is a question mark on the security of cloud applications.

Cloud applications are software that works via the internet and shares the market value of USD 171 billion.
Now you will be thinking, how can there be any insecurity issue. But there are escape clauses that are essential to know.

Concern arrives with the veil security system of cloud computing. Lack of transparency gives birth to suspicion in the procedure of software working. Encryption protects, but it is not 100% free from data breaches.

A data breach is a situation where all user’s personal and professional data gets leak without the consent of the user. Phishing attacks alarm raised by the Interpol, place new challenges in front of both the cloud application customers and the software providers.

So let’s try to understand some loopholes:
1) Interrelation with APIs and UI– Cloud application manages the data to perform many functions to enhance the performance of the user. The interdependence of cloud applications with APIs can result in the compromise of safety. As in the case of a fault in APIs can allow malware.
Due to the low upgraded system of APIs, any fault in the API interface system affects the cloud application, which works through the customer line of demarcation.
The CSP can attract malware without any resistance.
2) Third person involvement– cloud computing interface works as a third person. This involvement allowed data copy and access through multiple sources. Results, in a reduction in data safety standards.
3) Absence of data framework- without a framework, understanding the complex system of cloud software becomes difficult and also attracts cyberpiracy.

4) Intellectual rights need to be secured– the Oracle v/s Google copyright case in the US . made us focus on copyright confidence, which is not provided by cloud computing.

 That leads to data corruption and harms the company’s reputation.

5) Laws can become solutions to guard the customer’s interests- The security breach law of the US.

  • EU General Data protection regulation
  • UK’s Opening Banking Data Sharing Framework
  • Upcoming India’s data security law.

Hence, by reviewing all uncertainty, we can say that the cloud applications have the contrast of protection and consternation of cybercrime.


After 5 years I remained the same but sunrise changed

6 am in the morning, yes finally I wake up - Good morning Shubhi

with the new feeling and old songs in head brushing my teeth without focusing any mouth organ , next I put the beaker of hot water on a stove and preparing cool dress for running and finding mask , I drank the water, wore the mask and open the house door with suspicion that no Aunty will stop me. started walking, with every new step I was wondering is it a great idea to run during Covid times as it’s not about safety but its about people that mostly people are free and surely many come to disturb me. We all are strangers but still I will get bothered without any specific reason . Fear of dogs is constant and with this all thoughts I crossed the first barrior i.e. my colony.

Now it is a time to run, before my legs my eyes started checking the heads that no one should be their but people were their with their partners. they were also busy with the walk and conversation as me with my head and then my hesitation said- ” let the people go first then we will run”. so running changed into walking and my mind started wondering , my focus just start to shift from mind chattering to realm beauty of silence then suddenly I saw a fire ball rise as a peace inside me, the sunrise.

a moment which I was witnessing with birds, the time which stopped, the people busy with their talks and it was me who stayed stagnant as never existed in this universe of humans and just meant to feel the presents of fire , the beauty of enlightment. the light was forming , the clouds , the birds , the sounds all were changing . it was me standing without words and worries. Like a new born baby I was stunned in the wonder of creation and then the small fire ball transformed into big giant and it was me who stayed the same but it was the sun who changed.

It transformed like a small hope to an achievement, a new born baby to a gentleman, a weak creature to a beast, it lightened the dark mind bodies and introduced me to my conscience.

It wasn’t the same sunrise that I had saw when I was 15 years old, at that time it was a peace and fierce and now for me this time my call of conscience the meaning of presence has changed, the people have changed but me as an observer of creation of the nature hasn’t changed its all the divine which transforms the fear to life and death into the peace of moments to feel, just a moment for forever.

What to choose?

Fear of end to decline of beginning, what will remain….??

Still remembered the first stance when I choose relationship over career in a hope to find love. And I found out at the end, the ending destruction of love, depression. After that till now, never looked back for same love definition.

Chill, I’m not a divorcee or it something very serious(externally). And then I choose again career.

…going on in finding new definitions of careers , I became lost in some smoke clouds, good cheers of noise and then frustration and I kindly ended it with a new career option.

Losing all I choose friendship in a hope that now I’m a teenager , I do have escape options. And then escaping from fears to escaping from myself continues.

After all, it was all going in a relief form. That’s how we all live, living somewhere else and pretending to be here , I did the same (not proud of). I wish all of these choices I would never regret.

But I do, I did regret of spending time on known people who became unknown later, when the first time I escaped from a fear of not knowing and pretented to be best, regret for a try to convince my self that superficial emotions are above all.

In truth they are not, nothing is above determination of facing the reality , no love is supermum than self love and when you have all this theirs no option lefts , no question Mark’s .